What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

Though the words from the famous Kelly Clarkson song are about the loss of a jerk boyfriend and not for a first time writer trying to cope with the pain of opening up one rejection letter after another, the words still help. In all honesty, I'm taking the rejection letters rather calmly. Of course the first one, which wasn't a letter, but an actual horrifying face to face rejection after a pitch, was the hardest. The others have just only stung a little.

I try to remember that it only takes one agent or small publisher to say "yes", and just because others say no it doesn't mean they are the end all be all, and the book will never be published. Some of the most successful authors and books were rejected countless times before they were on millions of bookshelves across the world. J.K. Rowling was rejected twelve times with Harry Potter book one, Stephanie Meyer received nine rejections and five no answers for Twilight, and Kathryn Stockett was rejected a wopping total of sixty times for The Help.

In total I have submitted my manuscript to twelve agents and one small publisher and I’ve received six rejections. As I said, each one brings a sting of disappointment, but none of them have made me want to quit or give up.

I understand why the letters sent are form letters as I can only imagine how many queries agents get every day, but I do wish they were a little more personal, or even have maybe a reason or two. I have to laugh, though, when I read "This industry is incredibly subjective..." or "Because this industry is so subjective..." Really? I wonder how many of those responses J.K. Rowling received. Wouldn't it be embarrassing to have said that to J.K. Rowling about her young Mr. Potter and a franchise that is now worth $15 billion dollars. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying agents are idiots or anything. Believe me, I know their job must be difficult and they certainly have every right to have their own tastes in books and what they want to represent. I am just merely stating how funny and confusing I think the whole endeavor is at times.

With any luck I will get an acceptance from one of the other six agents I'm waiting on or the small publisher. If not, then I'm going to just send out more queries and keep writing my next book. While away for a work conference this past weekend I started my next manuscript. After two and a half years it was weird writing new characters in a new world, but it was also exciting too and I can't wait to write more of this new adventure while I wait as patiently as I can for the rest of the responses.

My muse

Every writer has a muse. The spur your fingers need to fly across the keyboard at lightning speed or the light bulb your brain longs for when it has hiccupped and can't focus. Muses can be friends or family, a writers' own inner voice, or even an inspirational quote that is taped on your computer or memorized and buried deep within the writers’ soul. Every muse is different for every writer, but their sole purpose is always the same: to help the writer when they need inspiration the most.

My muse is a song – a single and simple song that has helped me through more days of writers block than I can count. No matter what problem I am having, within three times of listening to my song, my problem is gone. Every single time. Even today, while driving to work my muse helped me through a scene I became stuck on yesterday, so stuck in fact that I had to stop writing for the day because I couldn’t get past this scene. By the third time of listening to my muse, the scene blossomed in my head, and I can’t wait to write it.

It is true I found my muse in a much unexpected way. At times I have reveled in the 'stumbled across by sheer luck' manner because usually those are the best times to find a muse – the unexpected and out of the ordinary creates a level of gratitude of which cannot be explained.

One Friday evening in late October 2010, I stopped by a Redbox machine. It was movie night for our family, and since we had not taken our daughter to see it in the theaters, I wanted to rent How to Train Your Dragon on DVD. To be honest, I really didn't want to watch the movie. I cannot tell you why. I just didn't. But it was not "Angela movie night" in our house, it was "Family movie night" so How to Train Your Dragon was the movie going into the DVD player.

Set in a mythical Viking world on the island of Berk, the story is about the trials and tribulations of Hiccup trying to follow his tribes’ history of slaying dragons. With a strong voice cast of Gerard Butler and Craig Ferguson, a strong storyline, and a super cute dragon named Toothless, I couldn't help but love the movie. After watching it for the tenth time the next day(my daughter is young and going through the "I want to watch it again" phase), I began to listen instead of watch.

I have always been a fan of instrumental music, especially good instrumental music. One of my favorite soundtracks is for the movie The Last of the Mochicans. I love to write to instrumental music, and my favorite style is Celtic. It has a strong presence to it that just hits me in the core of my imagination - fiddles, bagpipes, dulcimers, pennywhistles, and harpsichords, all instruments that bring out my inner writer.

So I sat and listened to the music behind the words, then listened during the credits.

I listened, and in listening, I found my muse.

Forbidden Friendship by John Powell.

Painting my World and Coloring my Characters

I think that being a writer and creating stories mirrors being in the mind of a child. I watch my daughter play with her toys, watch her make them move and speak, and watch her create her own world and characters.

She colors her characters, creating their personalities and dialogue through her imagination. She bestows them with triumphs from capture by evil enemies and rescues them from mortal peril. Mermaids sing and have under the sea adventures in the tub, while Lightening McQueen and Mater have racing adventures competing for the Piston Cup all over the world. At times, her characters are not even a toy. With a marker in hand, she'll etch in her little pads of paper orders from patrons at her restaurant. As she serves them pretend food, she asks them if they would like ketchup on their fries or mustard on their hamburger. Her characters are just as real to her as I am and she interacts with them in ways that as an adult I couldn't imagine doing.

I don't act out my characters, but like her, I still color them. I sit down in my uber comfy office chair and color. I give my characters personalities, sincerity, flaws, triumphs, and struggles. I bestow them with friends and enemies, likes and dislikes, and love and heartbreak. I am bonded with my characters, and I know them inside and out.

But what are characters without a world to play in? As my daughter plays in the tub with her mermaids, I watch her imagination run wild. She’s not sitting in a porcelain tub; she’s sitting at the bottom of the ocean with the mermaids swimming around her. They are talking to her, and she is talking back. She goes on their adventures with them, meeting their fish friends, swimming with whales, and running from sharks. When she sits in her room playing with her princess dolls and castle, she’s not in her very pink bedroom. She’s in the walls of the castle, cooking and baking with Snow White, changing ball gowns with Cinderella, dancing in the ballroom with Belle and the Beast, and sliding down Rapunzel's hair to the grass below. She paints herself an imaginary world for her characters right down to the last detail. I used to think 'How amazing it must be to be able to do that', but now I know how amazing it truely is.

When I open my manuscript and focus in on the chapter I’m working on, I dive into the dark foggy forest, walk the dirt streets of the Indian village, and ride in a carriage down long dirt pathway lined with giant scarlet oak trees to the white southern plantation manor. Though my words, readers know if it’s night or day, if it’s raining or if the sun is shining bright in the sky. Everyone has their own imagination though; my forest is probably different from the forest a reader sees. Does that matter? Not at all. As long as I paint a world they picture in their mind, no matter what it looks like to them. As long as they bake with Sarah, smuggle slaves with Alexandra, fall in love with William, unearth the secrets Thomas hides, and rebel against the legacy to which Alexandra is chained, I am content.

My daughter paints and colors her own pretend world and characters.

And so do I.

The Ethels to our Lucys…..

As individuals we all have them, those people with whom we share our lives with in good times and in bad (aside from spouses, of course). The childhood friends we grew up with. The friends from high school that we never parted from or had the chance to rekindle the friendship later in life. The friends from college that held our hair as we spent the night in front of a toilet, or held the tissue and spooned ice cream into our mouths after a nasty breakup. Perhaps they didn’t even come into our lives until recently, after a move across the country or with a new job. Friends are an important part in our lives. They give us advice, a shoulder to cry on, and an ear to listen as we either voice exciting news or scream into the phone (or their face) venting about life. They share in our joyous moments as well as the moments we never ever want to think about.

The list of different friendships for everyone can be as different as night and day, and yet, every single friendship is important and should be cherished. Single friends, married friends, friends with children, friends without children, the list goes on and on. But for a writer, there is one particular friend that stands out: the writer friend.

Having been in the career of accounting for the last thirteen years my list of writing friends was pretty short when I started my novel. In fact, it didn’t have a single name on the sheet. Any writer can agree that having writer friends is the glue that can hold you together at times. They are motivators, supporters, and sounding boards you throw ideas at when you are stuck on a chapter or scene. They also understand in ways non-writer friends can’t the trials and tribulations of the world you have become completely obsessed with.

Let’s face it, even though non-writing friends are sacred, writing friends are the difference between insanity and sanity when you are in the process of writing a novel.

My favorite form of obtaining writer friends is creating my own by coaxing my non-writer friends into the dark side. “I have cookies,” I say with a devilish smile. My lust for recruiting has brought in two of my friends that now have works in progress. I am very proud of them, and will be the first in line for book releases and signing parties! Writing groups, conferences, and workshops are also an excellent way to meet fellow writers, and through all three I have met tons of wonderful people, and formed many friendships. Some of which I hold very dear, and couldn’t see a life without them now.

Aside from the ones who I spend time with on a regular basis and see in person, I have also been blessed with online friends. With just a few simple words typed into the Bing search bar I met a wonderful and kind writer working on her third (which is also historical fiction) novel. Her emails are just as great to receive then some of my oldest friends, and yet, I have never met her in person, and probably never will unless we attend the same conference someplace or have a book signing in each other’s hometown. Even so, I will gladly send a supportive email when I can and will happily buy her books as soon as they hit the shelves.

I have been very blessed with my writing friends. They are my best slaps in the face when a scene sucks, the best motivators when I feel like I just need to give up (death threats are always motivating), and my biggest supporters (aside from my husband and five-year old who nods her head and smiles every time I tell her about the book. Even if I can see my words go right over her head, I still love to see the supportive smile.).

Writing friends are the Ethels to our Lucys in both friendship and helping plot out crazy, harebrained ideas….like writing a novel for instance.